The only day in week when I’m actually watching out for late night reiterate telecasts of undersized film kind of series on Star Plus… Called “Star Bestsellers”

The excellent element about them is, Every time they’ve surfaced with an exclusively splendid *new* notion. It’s invigorating to see those where every other Hindi channel will either be wedged on melodrama [purely “Ekta-kapoor” Kind of Rona-Dhona Daily sops], or Hindi movies [which aren’t any different from them anyways!!]

So yes, today I saw a first-rate shortie on star best sellers … called “The End”. Written by “Rohit Dev Malhotra”, now this gentleman is quite known to me. He’s not the rona-dhona archetypal playwright. He experiments, with new subject, at times litigious, and entirely dissimilar from others. May be that’s the raison d’être that he’s not triumphant, as “Janta” Of India wouldn’t accept that sort of script. They would quite prefer the typicality. Phew! I’m not going to write more about how I feel on that painstaking stuff, so getting back to the subject matter of this blogpost… I did love seeing that film [of course I had seen it before, it was just a 100th repeat of it that I watched…] However there were some setbacks there that I couldn’t help notice, the story line wasn’t in that much of the grip of the writer, means at times he tend to go off tangents. There were some extremes that he not only crossed but also made them appear like bizarre. Again, it’s just my opinion. Each one to his own, right?!

Anyway, For the readers who haven’t seen that episode, I shall shortly be putting up the synopsis here on blog. For the readers who already have seen it, I’ve a second part of that post, which shall contain my way of the ending of the story! Something for both kinds!!! Keep watching! And don’t change the channel, cause infomercials are part of life, and also… Exists Everywhere!

Ciao.
Ektz.

Latest Law for a long term Romance: If you see a guy who’s sensible and strong, Witty and elegant, Sweet and immersely emotional… DO NOT FALL for him, I repeat DO NOT !!! Cause from the latest i’ve realized, all the Great Guys are Either Married.. or Gay!!

Oh, the hell with it! Just an opinianated freak of a friend, who has written that to me in a mail after she has come back from the movie PAGE3. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being Gay, but that sentence certainly is unbelievable! I mean how can be half of the good guys on earth have turned gay!!
But after tonight, i can say, there is something weirdly true about it. Its actaully morning right now, and i’ve almost spent the whole night, sitting by the window, lost in thought, wathching aimless at clear dark sky with sparkling stars [ its good thing about small towns.. not much of pollution, you can add ten more years to your lifetime by living here .. ]

The recent [ a month old!!] Accident has gotten me into bedrest for a few months [ hopefully only weeks are remaining now..] and i’m just waiting for the time that i start learning to walk again. Ah, so great would be a day when i would learn to make a first step. [ .. my sister would be waiting for that with a camcorder for a home video.. ] But till the day arrives, i’m stuck. Yep, i’ve got great friends, who occasionally [almost everynight!] barges into my house/my room and celebrates!! [as if the cause of the celeb is that i cant walk!! Arrgh!] And i’ve actually got a cute bunch of friends. From them, i’ve my own set of close friends, First is Mann, who is like a flirtious kid in his last teen, his intelligence defies his age though. And the other close friend of mine is Chintu, who is one yr elder than me, and still lives in his early teens. His looks defies his mental age. [ Dont tell him though, he’ll be teasing me like hell in this condition where i cant beat him off me..] And then i’ve Mr. CU… the guy i like a lot of this group. Of course when i met him first, i used a very well chewed pick up line to get himm but then we eventually became good friends [ dont ask me which one was that!! i would hate to see anyone faint after reading that!!] I call him CU as he is like the Control Unit of the whole ‘Gang’. When everyone is in their BACHCHA MOOD he only can handle to keep a calm over all of us. Now the weird part was that, after that pick up line thingi, he never rose up to any occation to ask me out [trust me, i created almost 100% of them.. to get him to ask me out] But nonetheless i never whined about it or made a move, probably cause i loved the chase, like our Friend Reshmasays… see who blinks first.

And i guess i blinked tonight, more out of distraction than desire. After the chilled valentine, i needed to let the ‘chill’ out. It was getting corrosive, i thought i could use a talk with someone who can understand what i’m trying to say. And he was the perfect candidate, he has always been there to listen without being judgemental. It was after everyone left that i decided to talk it out. He was still there mending the mess the gang created in my room. I was watching him clear things from my studytable, clean my computer keyboard with hair dryer [ dont ask me how it got stained in first place if you dont want to hear lies!!] And i bursted it out, ” Why havent you asked me out yet…”

He shocked and turned, said “.. wh.. ell…” which actually sounded like a cut-in-middle of “what” and “Hell..” to me. I kept on, ” I know you remember, i was the one to ask you out first, but you never responded well to me… Tell me something… why??”

He looked away for a moment, probably thinking how to come up with the answer that would not cause hurt or resentment. It raged me, he was ‘actually’ thinking of excusese… I flamed out, ” You dont like me or somthing, or you are like seeing someone else that you have decided to keep a top secret! ” [Gawd, i was so sarcastic with that comment where actually i knew, he was like spending so much of time looking after me. It was the precise reason why i was frustrated, i couldnt understand why he stayed away even after. ]

He tried to stabber a reply, ” No, i’m not seeing anyone else, but to think of this, i think i’ve never seen you in that light.. ” OMG! Now that was a reply i wasnt expecting, it would have been better to hear that he was seeing someone more interesting, than seeing nothing interesting in me any more.

It was hammered Ego that spoke, “Why, if you find me so repulsive..”

He cut me short, ” its not like that Ekta….”

“.. Then tell me what its like…” [ me.. fuming with rage]

“.. Its like… i dont get involve with girls…” [ he’s so embarassed, his face is flushed pink]

“.. because?? ” [ expecting a smartass reason like carrer, family issues, etc etc. But being a dumbass myself i cant see the clear hint he gave ]

“.. because… [long pause] …. [long silence from my side]…. i’m gay ” [ phew! out there.. Finally! And my mouth is half open, and words are not coming out]

he looks at me, a little tensed up, also with a pinch of disdain, probably cause he thinks I’m too shocked, may be he thinks i’m going to hold contempt against him cause he is gay. After all, at last he has picked up on normal reaction towards gay people in our society. But what he doesnt know is, THAT apparant shock is not only cause he kept it a secret from me, but also cause suddenly that sentense has flashed in front of my eyes…

Fortunately i come to my senses rather well this time, I manage to come up with a smile, ” you should have told me, then this misunderstanding would have never happened.. ”

He relaxes, seeing that i’ve taken it good. ” I didnt want you to know..”

“No problem, I understand. Your secret is safe with me!” [ there.. i said those words again that i hated to utter, “I UNDERSTAND”… hell i dont! i’m just saying that i do, cause thats what i’m supposed to! ]

He leaves then, after some more silence, and he has almost cleaned up my whole room. And so thats the end of this. The chase has came to an end, finally! I’m sorry it hasnt lead to anything so very dramatic for people to enjoy who read this blog. But after all, its life, not a fucking movie for heaven’s sake! [ excuse my cursing, just not in a mind of frame to be nice .. ]

Do we really need to do this to sell a movie??!! The same happened with the movie Rog, the Almost naked pics of the actress were all over the place, kinda put me off the mood to watch that one! Though after reading suarbh’s reviews on his Blog, i am going despo over the new Keeanu reeves Flick.

The chill of winter had already started loosing its effect, as the Valentine’s Day was warming the love in so evermore abandoned hearts. But it was tranquil chill all about me, within me. The chill that I’d someway treasured, whether or not loved. But who was I to censure; it was I, who had lost the faith, who had lost the credence. It was I, who had lost the passion… the craze.

He walks into my domain, fully clad in ashen white, the color of angel. As I turn to see who has approached in at those late hours of darkness, I could affirm I saw a halo above his head, identical to his radiant smile. Beyond the qualms, it was he. It was my redeemer, my seraph, who has come for me, to embrace me, to cherish me. Perhaps he also sensed the reserve. Even though I wanted him to reside away from me tonight more than ever, I needed him to make me feel warm once more. Almost as if he knew what he is supposed to do, He bit by bit steps into my sphere of dreadful hurt, the substantial restrictions that I’d formed. He gets on to his knees, in front of my bed, with so much elegance that it almost make me throb for his touch. I can feel his breath; I can sense his heartbeat, relaxed and warm. I inhale deep, propping my self up on my elbow, staring at him wordlessly, grimly, ambiguously impassive.

Blanket that has enclosed my body - merely a barricade amid us, as I stay unmoving. Our gaze mate, reverberating each other’s needs, desires. He is the one to converse initially, ” Our life is like a piano, there are white bliss keys, there are black pain keys, but we must bear in mind that black and white keys together, generates supreme of all symphonies.”

Silence chase me like a fly to a fire. He smiles… his angelic smile. And continues, ” I know you’ve gone through a lot, you’ve suffered, your innocence was traumatized for bodily desires of a cunning man. There may be nothing that I could say that would make you whole for a second time…”

I am shaken, as I am reminded of the past. The precedent that was more or less elapsed, but still breathing somewhere within me. The Darkness is converting itself into a fog by then, getting thicker and thicker around me as seconds pass like time without end. He carries on, “But I can propose what I contain…” He closes in against me, leisurely pulling away my blanket, revealing me to his tender affection.

He breaks the awkward silence after a few long moments, gazing directly into my eyes, searching for the hope that has been dead from a few years. “I Offer ‘ME’… I surrender my self, unreserved. I yield my soul to you, if that would reconstruct your faith.” He stays on his knees, letting the lexis descend in, letting the eyes do the residual talk.

I am feeling unexplainable sentiments, the razor-sharp sting of love inflowing my heart, making me feel chaste again… making me yearn to immediately leave all the horrendous belongings of damage for a jiffy and to strive to trust on ‘love’ again. He goes on, ” I’m yours, to make or to break. I would hold no hatred, no penitence for what you do to me tonight. I feel for you so much, that its shattering my heart to see you hurting. I necessitate you back, healed, in return I want your ache in whatever shape you desire to extract.”

I seize him by his neck with my fingers, so firm that he’s incapable to inhale. How could he stab into my wounds like that and attempt to draw me out, how could he just make me vulnerable by acting as god!? It rages me, to my core. I’m trembling, like on inferno. He is still looking at me, with a smile, not struggling but courageously accepting it. If he would have wanted it, he could have thrown me away like a rag doll. But my White Knight in Shining Armour has shown his guts. He has kept his word.

Almost a minute passes, I could see the veins on his temple almost bulging due to lack of air, and he still says nothing, does nothing. For a moment he closes his eyes, and opens them back to look at me with untainted adore, nothing else. He whispers, ” Eradicate me if it is your need of vengeance, but remember, I’m yours and will always be…”

His voice turns down to nil, as he closes his eyes again. He has accomplished. The pain is slowly flowing down through my eyes, in purest of its all forms… tears. I have dragged my self away from him, my tearful face between my hands. Past a flash second, he reaches up, lays a hand on me for the first time, takes my hands away from my face and looks into my eyes… “You’re brave. You recognize your belief in me; you’ve faith in my love. Just let the aged wounds diminish its venom with the tears tonight… and let tomorrow be a new-fangled day…”

He cradles me into his arms, so secure that I could feel me melting in, being one with him. I’m feeling a piece of me have come alive, like I could stroke its velvety live facade with my intellect. May be I’ve got what I’ve craved for, may be I’ve finally regained the faith. May be now I had departed from my wounds.

May be… Just may be…