40 minutes to go…

the count down has begun!

Everyone in my house, including all three sisters and mother are on the verge of excitement. Its going to be so much fun this year. We enjoyed it a lot last year, we’ll have the same thing this year as well….

.. Its my father’s 50th birthday tomorrow.. April 4.

And we have plans of a party that starts from 12 tonight. I look forward to a grand party tomorrow evening. But tonight, it will be just us. The family. the closest bond.

Even there’s a point of fun as well. We sisters have brought a cake with “Happy birthday to PAPA” Written on it. And funnily my mom has brought another under my dad’s nose which says “Happy birthday to Manoj”. When asked why she did it, she smiles and says, she cant add her self in our cake due to the label referrence. She can’t call him dad now, can she? So yep. My dad will be surprised, very surprised!! He is in for Two cakes tonight. Two different flavoured as well. Black forest and Pineapple.

Don’t you think its so superb a birthday where one is also provided with two different options of cake?!!!

Cheers! I’m off to get the camera appratus set up. Will be back later tomrrow and blog about it… till then…. All of you, have fun…. and enjoy.

.. And yes, I love you so much Papa!!

.How often, asleep at night, am I convinced of just such familiar events that I am here in my dressing gown, sitting by the fire when in fact I am lying in bed! Yet at the moment my eyes are certainly wide awake when I look at this piece of paper; I shake my head and it is not asleep; as I stretch out and feel my hand I do so deliberately, and I know what I am doing. All this would not happen with such distinctness to someone asleep. Indeed! As if I did not remember other occasions when I have been tricked by exactly similar thoughts while asleep! As I think about this more carefully, I see plainly that there are never any sure signs by means of which being awake can be distinguished from being asleep. The result is that I begin to feel dazed, and this very feeling only reinforces the notion that I may be asleep.

If I cant define whether being asleep is different than staying awake, then how can I define what is a dream?

Can anyone????

First off… Had a Terrible Yet Superb Holi as usual. Thanks to Prem and the Gang! It was fun while it lasted! And I had taken some colorful pics this noon when the party was on its best. Of course a lot happened before and after the pics, there was so much of water all around, everyone was totally painted in many different colors. After years i enjoyed holi this much, thanks to Prem. Love you sweetheart, i know you’ll be reading this.

Pic is removed! will be up soon! [+] show/hide the Tomato Picture

Now this is a story everyone would love to hear… and i’m sure Mr. Nemesis would.

This is a story of a tomato!! umm.. Wrong title. Its the story of me, before some 17 years. My dad loved to shoot me.[camera ofcourse!] and so i’ve very fond memories that i can actually remember through those pics. May be this is one of the reason i love photography, something to do with the heridatory gene! Anyway, so this is about a pic, of me, of my younger self that is Joy’s Most Favorite[Not that he doesnt like me anymore.. :P] When my dad took that picture, i was telling him about how our tomato plant in the backyard had a very small red tomato grown on it. And it was one of the cutest moment captured on camera. Me dad loved this pic, and after getting to know the story, that sweet picture got his important existance in my photo-scrap-book.

Now, here comes another story… The story of Joy!! ummm… again wrong title. The story of the computer screen! Dont panic if you dont find any connection there, lemme explain. Few days back he told me about this story. I’ve sent this pic to him long time back, along with my other childhood pics. He confirmed he loved that pic, and had it on his computer desktop as a wallpaper. [.. now as if it wasn't flattering enough... he went on talking more...] At times at home in his room, he will keep the computer switched on, and watch TV or have drinks etc. And time to time his sight would stop at the computer screen and he would have a smile on his face and sometimes a mumble. “Yes, the tomato is there..” [ Sweet.. isn't it?... wait for the worst part!!] And so on. Once before switching the computer off, he looked at the screen, and suddenly felt like holding me close and kissing me on my cheek. then he literally kissed. The computer screen of course.[ well, we live in two diff corners of india unfortunately...] And thats how he painfully realised….

….. He hasnt cleaned [dusted off] that computer screen in a very long while!!!

Imagine if instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in Haiku… they would read like these:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located,
but endless others exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask far too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen
dies so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
is not the true Tao, until
you bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working
‘Windows’ is like that.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
the document you’re seeking
must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep
or a rude error message,
these words: “File not found.”

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

.. I had to let him go.

… And I shall miss him dearly.

He was there all the way through past four years along with me. We shared more or less everything, from each gossip of my girl friends to each of the thousand prank calls I made. From each laughter, to each tear; from each smile, to each fear; He always remained by my side. But after a while, you somehow know it in your heart, that it’s not worth it, so many troubles are generating cause of him. Its not that it never happened before, trouble that is. But I always fought back, till the end, cause I had a hope it will work out. But now, I’ve even lost optimism.

He is an icon of my past, The Icon of magnificence and catastrophe. He was for Fun as well as Fuck-up, Merry as well as Mess. And I think I’ve have left him for good. In a hope that with leaving him, I’m also leaving my past to be buried in shadows.

… So here it goes. A tribute, an accolade to the years that I shared with him…. With my old companion… My much-loved Airtel Cell Number!!

… I shall miss you.

[... Uh oh... where did I put tissues... I will need them the most right now...]

Ps. I’m still fighting the urge to just run and grab him back, before it expires and worse, given to someone else…

Oh, life is getting busier as i’ve started getting back on my normal track of life. The normal routines. But i do steal time here n there to do my own stuff, and enjoy!

.. and so yeah, Monday night was so so SOOOO good. I mean think about it, after a stressful day, i spent my evening with all of my favorite things. Nothing can be compared to that. I fairly believe its the most precious of all the feelings.

The things that made my evening, were, first a Cheese Cake!! No one can deny that cheese cake is salvation. of course it comes after Chocolate cake. But still it is. And then a big fluffy couch to land onto, so then you can watch your favorite sitcoms on “starworld” with heavenly comfort, well, i really doubt if anyone ever need anything more!! But ten minutes passes, and He calls. ‘HE’ is my close friend, Prem, Childhood friend, actually me, him and LL used to be a team of pranksters in schooltime. Anyways he tells me that he is coming to my home, and i realize i need something more to make the evening merrier, I need my lovely best friend to be there, to fight with me for silly things. And yes, i do have a list of silly things that we usually fight for. After he arrived, We fought over who is going to get another spoon for him to eat the cheese cake!! Hell, i’m not going to do that, if i get a spoon he will eat my cake!!! I dont belive in ’sharing’ at times like this, i belive in selfishly having all to my self. So yeah, he then uses his last weapon, that he will use his hands if not spoon for the cake!! And trust me, this is NOT the time and the place where you want your men to use his hands!!!! So yeah, defeated for a moment, i get up and get him the spoon. When i come back, i see him stretched on MY couch now, grinning ear to ear. He has crossed the limits of my bearing now. I’m known as GARFIELD in this matters. None, NO-ONE can put a finger let alone sleep on my couch when i’m there! So yeah, i push him off, he doesnt budge. We keep on wrestling, and after sometime i come to a conclusion. I step in, over the couch and push him aside so that i can lay with him. He smilingly devilish welcomes me with an open arm and a spoon in another for my cake!!

… well everything’s well when end’s well, right??

.. Night… Half moon… Am standing at a bay… in front of an ocean water… or rather jello water… as thick as honey … in fact crimsonish in color … spreading wide under the horizon as far as i can stretch my sight… thick fog is layering over the surface… Fighting the urge… to jump in…Eventually i give in… Dive straight deep in… Strange… I dont surface up normally… floatnig in middle… breathing’s normal… Everything is still as long as I stay calm… I move… the water turns in quicksand… pushes me deeper in… Fighting the urge again… to panic… seems there is no way out… can not try to swim… just float half way… no sounds… nothing… feel like i’ve gone deaf… blind… cut off from everything… panic sets in… closes my eyes… darkness enveloping… no time… no space… everything is bliss….

…. I wake up, Call my Shrink as its early morning, And he laughs after listening to the dream, saying, “Ekta, probably you’ve forgotten, You’re Hydrophoebic!!”

Ektz.

PS. On a very lighter note: Tonight I’ll be watching out on TV for a person I have a HUGE crush on!!! Sure Sure, am going to say the name here, Its Vir Das. He’s a Delhite Theatre Artist and a Stand-up comedian. He of course looks adorable and he has something that I love in a guy. Manners with Intelligence. Means a man who is a combination of macho and metro sexual. I would love to date him someday, if I get a chance. I hope some miraculous thing happens and I get his phone number, or even better if he calls me!!! [Somebody.... get me his number... and... umm.. Mr. Vir Das, just in case if you are reading this.... CALL ME!!! Grins. ]
PS of the PS. I’ve started walking normally again with no support at all!. Now no bed rest anymore! Of course I’ve to be quite cautious about WHERE i walk, but over all, its one hell of a GREAT thing!! Yaaay!!!!!