DDSOS

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

Yaay! only if males follow this rules, there would be heaven on earth! lol

I bought this cells last evening, for my digital camera.

And funnily, i thought of reading the backside instructions and cautions.

What makes me wonder is, Any one has done this before, that they had to put it up in the list of cautions?

Haven’t you always wondered how “Americanisms” would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of NewDelhi (or elsewhere)?

Have a nice day! —– * Achcha din lo!

What’s up? —– *Uppar kya hai?

You’re kidding! —– *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don’t kid me! —– * Mera bachcha mut banaao!

Yo, baby! What’s up? —–* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man! —–* Thandaa aadmi!

Don’t mess with me, dude.—– * Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.

Check this out, man! —– * Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

She’s so fine! —– * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?—– * Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what’s cooking? —– * Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?

Are you nuts? —– * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.—– * Bachcha bandook ka.

And the best one is…..

How do you do? —– * Kaise karte ho?

General Body Meeting…. —– *Saamanya Shaaririk Milan

C ya folks… —–(Dekhte hain doston) &

Keep in touch…… —– (Chhoote Raho…..)

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless they had consent of the King (unless they were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King and the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard read F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of the King). Now you know where that word came from.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
15. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass. Then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop exp ecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday…around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

This post is about “Why work makes you mad?”

Now, by the definition of work, work equals to Force multiplied by Distance.

So W = F x D

Now by Newton’s law, Force equals to mass multiplied by accelaration.

So F = M x A.

… Therefore,

… Ultimately…

….. ………. W = M x A x D

… so hence proved, Work makes you mad!!!

Ektz.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their bottom to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Darn right! What good is a cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and
stare at the floor.

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”….Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before
it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say “life is short”. What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be
standing here?

Dose of sarcasm is almost much for the day!
catch ya all laterz
Ektz.

… Can you believe this!!!!

THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES: SIMPLE

SIMPLE is an acronym for Sheer Idiot’s Monopurpose Programming Language
Environment. This language, developed at the Hanover College for
Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code
with errors in it. The statements are, therefore, confined to BEGIN,
END and STOP. No matter how you arrange the statements, you can’t make
a syntax error. Programs written in SIMPLE do nothing useful. Thus
they achieve the results of programs written in other languages without
the tedious, frustrating process of testing and debugging.

What the #%$#@#@$????!!!

his does make me think: What were they thinking??

# — FIFTH
FIFTH is a precision mathematical language in which the data types refer to quantities. The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and JIGGER to FIFTH (hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and BLOTTO. Commands refer to ingredients such as CHABLIS, CHARDONNAY, CABERNET, GIN, VERMOUTH, VODKA, SCOTCH, BOURBON, CANADIAN, COORS, BUG, EVERCLEAR and WHATEVERSAROUND.
The many versions of the FIFTH language reflect the sophistication and financial status of its users. Commands in the ELITE dialect include VSOP, LAFITE and WAITERS_RECOMMENDATION, while commands in the GUTTER dialect include HOOTCH, THUNDERBIRD, HOUSE_RED and RIPPLE. The latter is a favorite of frustrated FORTH programmers who end up using this language

# — C minus (C-)
This language was named for the grade received by its creator when he submitted it as a class project in a graduate programming class. C- is best described as a “low-level” programming language. In general, the language requires more C- statements than machine code instructions to execute a given task. In this respect it is very similar to COBOL.

# — BREW
An annex language from Pittsburgh featuring the data types PINT, HALF, STEIN, MUG, BOTTLE, LONGNECK, PONY, STUBBIE, CAN, GLASS, 6PAK, CASE, BARREL, and the operations ORDER, PAY, FILL, EMPTY, CHUG, REFRESH and URP. BREW uses numeric values in the range 0 through 8. Recursion, hand signals and slurred text processing are supported, as are supervised (BARTENDER), non supervised (BYOB) and imaginary (JUST1) modes. Internal stack handling (TAB) may be installed separately and runs only in supervised mode. You must have been born on or before 4/11/1987 for BREW in most states.

# — DOGO
Developed at the Massachusetts Institute of Obedience Training, DOGO heralds a new era of computer-literate pets. DOGO commands include SIT, STAY, HEEL, and ROLL OVER.

# — WYNOT
A response to the Iowa Statewide Programming challenge posed by WATFOR, WYNOT was conceived at the Rapid College of Iowa, (Go! Fighting Corndogs!) Department of Early Childhood Development. WYNOT features OTF logic and BECAUSE syntax, including clauses such as I SAID SO, ITS THERE, I’M SORRY, and I DID’NT KNOW IT WAS LOADED.

Imagine if instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer produced error messages in Haiku… they would read like these:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located,
but endless others exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask far too much.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen
dies so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
is not the true Tao, until
you bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working
‘Windows’ is like that.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
the document you’re seeking
must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep
or a rude error message,
these words: “File not found.”

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.