An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys of a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow “$5,000″
The Indian replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return’”
but a very very superb one. intelligent and hilarious. let me just post it here so that my readers can enjoy it too.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English” .
In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kanhave one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Gabber : Arii O Sambha.
Sambha : Jee Sardaar.
Gabber : Kitne Aadmi they.
Sambha : Sardar Do,
Gabber : Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?
Sambha : Do toh Do hota hai.
Gabber : Nahi, Phir bhi kitna hota. Zara bataa toh sahi.
Sambha : Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai.
Gabber : Aur Do ke pehle?
Sambha : Do ke pehle Ek aata hai.
Gabber : To beech mein kaun aata hai?
Sambha : Beech mein koi nahi aata.
Gabber : To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?
Sambha : Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.
Gabber : Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?
Sambha : Do ek se Ek bada hai?
Gabber : Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?
Sambha : Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Man replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ……….”HEBREWS”
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner…..who lives with a room mate, a girl named Sunita.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Kumar’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had
only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Kumar volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just  roommates.”
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver chutney jar. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” K
Kumar said,”Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the chutney jar from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the chutney Jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here
for dinner. Â
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother Which read
Dear Son:
I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Sunita, and I’m not saying that you do not’ sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow…
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day : Don’t Lie to Your Mother………..especially if  she is Indian!Â
Many times, people say that the women species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE .
For Example…
When the women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don´t wash them now !!!”
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now !!!
1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Yaay! only if males follow this rules, there would be heaven on earth! lol
